The Hapiness Factor:Taking the Time to Connect

Every day we ask people in passing "How are you?" "How are you doing?" with the typical response being "I am fine, and you?" But what if someone happens to engage you in a lengthy conversation, outlining a complicated series of problems? Is that really what we want to hear? Usually not, although I think that there is a time and place for more than a passing smile, however contrived that passing flash of teeth might be. But how often do we take a chance -- and take the time to really connect with people unless there is a financial incentive at work or it is with family and friends that we already know?

There are of course many variables, and I recall an in depth conversation that I had several weeks ago with a woman in Starbucks, a complete stranger, who, after a casual "hello" went on to openly discuss her own abusive relationship and how she succeeded in breaking free. I was not in any hurry at the time and having had my own series of rather complicated unions I actually enjoyed our chat. After about 30 minutes, we exchanged cards and went our separate ways.

I must say that I left Starbucks feeling glad that I took the time to make this connection and I wonder, in our fast paced world of superficial greetings, How much are we missing? I am not saying that we should start up a relationship with every conversationalist on the street but perhaps we should walk out the door each morning with a more open mind. Possibly an effort to say more than just "Hi" an obligatory greeting that we probably won't even remember is truly the time wasting culprit?